in day by day life we face a lot of challenges. Probably the most common of all is to build a career and to maintain your relationships with your family and loved ones as well as finding a partner and building a life together. These two areas are the main focus in our lives and they can be source of lots of unhappiness or the source of true happiness. Most of us live in some kind of a relationship. Some are real, then some are fake and the partners are pretending that everything is alright, but deep inside they know that this is not true and sooner or later this is going to end. Some of you know what the problem is, some of you don't, some try to do something about it, and some wait for the other half to make the first step.
One of the very common things we do is blame others or we blame external factors for not being happy in a relationship or for being single. The truth is that in most of the cases the problem is YOU.
1. You, like most of us might think that money can buy everything. Well, that might be true in some respects but money can't replace human connections.
Well money can bring us a whole lot of joy and happiness, and we can buy almost anything we want. What we cannot buy is true happiness and the knowing that people around us, especially the people who are important to us, like, accept, love and respect us for our real value as a person and not for our achievements like money, position or career. Another thing to think about is, do you indeed need that much money to be happy, is that your value at all or is it just a fake reflection of your life and a way to please yourself and others.
2. You may think that if you work harder and earn more money, your family or loved ones will be happier and more secure.
This is only half the truth, the problem in the end is that we become absolute strangers to our children, spouses, or our boyfriend, girlfriend and other members of the family. We work really hard to earn more money therefore we spend less and less time with our family and when we finally come home, we are too stressed out and too tired or even worse, we take our work home with us. Cold hard cash can't compensate for loneliness and feelings of abandonment.
3. You may think, " If I work hard enough for at least 5 years, I can finally slow down and have more time for myself and my family! "
When you take a decision such as this one, and, best case scenario, your family agree more or less with it, the question remains, how can you be sure that this is going to happen? In today's political and economical milieu it is really difficult to predict anything in the long run, in particular a 5 year plan in your work or business. You may have to change your business strategy, your workplace, probably even the place where you live, so you may find yourself with another 5 year plan before you know it.
4. You might think, "I can't be bothered now to build any kind of relationships, I need to concentrate on my career, on my business, when I'm established I will have time and money to engage in such things."
It is all well and good in your early twenties, but when you're hitting 30 and beyond, it is possibly wise to start thinking about a relationship's long-term prospects. And you may have to consider the possibility that you might have a self esteem problem. A relationship does not necessarily need more money, what it needs is more of YOU, more of your qualities as a person.
5. "I don't care, this is my way and I know what I'm doing! I don't need anybody or anything now, I'm comfortable this way and to be honest I already had some bad experience."
Fair play if this is your way. Don't bother if you really feel this way. It is your choice and it is alright. All of us had bad experiences and most of us felt this way more then once. The only difference is that we still cry and in the meantime pretend to be what we are not, or we learn from the past and think that it may be time we changed something and be happy in the end. You can pretend, play games and think that you are above every little trick that you are in a way untraceable and cool. The only question is, are you really happy and comfortable. No hard feelings and no regrets, no self-regret and no fear to start again and no fear to be alone.
6. "My way or the highway, I don't accept any compromise, any other way. I work hard and live hard! I have heard a lot of these things before and none of them are worth a dime. Things in life are not that easy and are not romantic. And it has been proven that in the end money talks and the rest will follow!"
I agree. Why not, in the end you are the Master of your own life, you decide on what and how, when and what, whom with and for how long, what the rules are and what are the rewards. But you have to bear in mind that after all this, one day you will find yourself alone, bitter, angry, disappointed and with the feeling that nobody understands you. You had your on way, you played by your own rules and you lived by your own statute. And what have you achieved? What are you in the end? Are you happy? Are you comfortable with what you have achieved? Because if not, do you think that you will be later on? Try to answer these questions to yourself as genuinely as you can.
7. You may think "My family is supporting me and they always understand me no matter what."
I don't want to disappoint you, this might be working well in the beginning, but after a while things start to change slowly and in almost all cases and painfully as well. One of the problems that may arise is that you will not receive more recognition or at least not in the way that you might expect. What is recognition? In the end we receive recognition when we bring good news or when we do something extraordinary, good or useful and beneficial. The fact that you try harder does not guarantee that you may gain in the end some kind of recognition. You are probably not there when your family needs you, they may need something but they don't want to bother you, you may need something but you don't tell them because you feel in a way guilty. This will bring the communication to an end and everybody will try to find understanding and comfort somewhere else.
8. Most of us think that their family is just the same like many other families with their struggles and fights and they survive and they are al right. Most of us might also think that without understanding, sacrifice and compromise what a relationship is after all. Some of us also think that without money, love is not worth a penny.
It is true, without sacrifice and compromise a relationship is not going to work in the long run. Another aspect that has to be taken into consideration as well is that times are changing and with time the way we live our life is changing too. We have to ask ourselves what do we consider as being a compromise and what other values do we add to our relationship. Whatever worked for the older generation is more then probably considered archaic and wont work on today's generation. What yesterday was in fashion or was a conventional fact, today is history. There are traditions and there is progress and both aspects need to be taken into consideration.
9. You might think that all you need is Power, Sex, Money We all heard these concepts of life, and mostly from men, rarely from women. If you look closely, you realize that most "successful" people are not really happy. They live their lives according to schedule, with when and how they graduate, with when and how they shall be successful, with when and how they build up their career or business, plan their marriage, their kids, and the list goes on. This encoded life after a while becomes boring and empty. You forget the meaning of life; you forget how to live. This is an illusion, the illusion that with money and power you can buy happiness, but in the meantime you live a life empty of any real feelings, a contrived and sad existence, without the power to change.
10. You may think that Coexistence, Sex and Love are three different things.
Most men and women think this way and there are many reasons why. Some of the issues are deep and painful, some of them are just little scrapes on the surface. Life is very fragile and very short. If you are not capable to find a partner to give you all the three above mentioned pleasures, you will be lost in details and never be really happy. If you want to change you can change. If you want to achieve and fulfill your dreams you can do so. Most of your life depends on you, on your decisions, on what energy and courage you use to be where you want to be.